Etykiety
You never knew your luck
Lord and Ladies, Terry Pratchett
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
Greebo
Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
Nanny Ogg was also out early. She hadn't been able to get any sleep anyway, and besides, she was worried about Greebo. Greebo was one of her few blind spots. While intellectually she would concede that he was indeed a fat, cunning, evil-smelling multiple rapist, she nevertheless instinctively pictured him as small fluffy kitten he had been decades before. The fact that he had once chased a female wolf up a tree and seriously surprised a she-bear who had been innocently digging for roots didn't stop her worrying that something bad might happen to him. It was generally considered by everyone else in the kingdom that the only thing that might slow Greebo down was a direct meteorite strike.
The Hedgehog song
Terry Pratchett books, fans
1. Old Noah was mucking the Ark out one daywhen he heard a great shriek from the neighboring stall.
Said he to poor Ham, who was hugging his loins,
"Ah, the hedgehog, my boy, can't be buggered at all."
Chorus (repeat after each verse):
Roll them all over and turn them around,
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
2. The sheep is a classic, as well you may find,
the llama's all right if he isn't too tall,
the donkey's a danger for standing behind,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
3. The squirrel requires the climbing of trees,
which puts you at risk of a slip and a fall.
The dog's man's best friend if you don't mind the fleas,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
4. You can do it with a frog in a puddle or pool,
though you might catch a cold in your whatchamacall-
it, or with a giraffe if you stand on a stool,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
5. The bonobo monkey --
Will someone please tell the Librarian I'm not talking about him?
He's in the last verse. -- Thank you!
The bonobo monkey is willing to hump:
he'll do all his friends, both the large and the small,
and he'll do it to you if you show him your rump,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
6. The humans are out, if you value your life:
it's incest, my son, since we're relatives all...
unless you'd make love to your very own wife!
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
7. I don't recommend that you tackle the skunk.
I did once myself, I'm ashamed to recall;
I must have been EXtr'ordinARily drunk!
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
8. The billygoat's habits, though pungent and weird,
you've got to accept if it's him that you'd ball:
he don't use cologne, he just cums in his beard,
and the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
9. You can bugger a whale if you're willing to swim
or an ORanguTANG if you hang from a limb;
or make time with a snail if you slow... to... a... crawl...,
... but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!